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Wizards Are Assholes

Wizards Are Assholes

July 19th, 2009

Oh, you’re a wizard Harry! Now that you know that, we’re going to sweep you away to a secret magical land where serious illnesses can be healed with the wave of a hand, fires can be extinguished by uttering a few words, and travel can be instantaneous! Isn’t that grand? But remember! You musn’t tell the non-magical people, who have had to work their fingers to the bone and stretch the limits of their knowledge to accomplish things that don’t even come close. Share this magic? Ha! Fuck the rest of the world.

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Discussion (23)¬

  1. Mr. Lollipop says:

    The rest of the world probably wouldn’t even care. They’d be like “Oh, cool” and go back to what they were doing.

  2. Anonymous says:

    It’s fun how JK threw in, “Oh, but they can’t create food out of thin air” so wizards are at least absolved of the crime of not fixing world hunger with the wave of a hand. NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

    • TRATSTGS says:

      Yo, she LIED. The Weasleys were mad poor and they never went hungry. And there were like a million of them.

      • Eiron Page says:

        They can’t create it out of thin air, so they simply teleport it out of food parcels, forcing the affected countries’ governments to a position where they must deny responsibility for their interception, which the rest of the Muggle world refuses to accept. So, not only do they perpetuate world hunger but they also cause further geo-political tension.

        • Wil says:

          no, it’s not that they steal it, merely that they transfigure other things into food, such as turning a rock into a dinner roll.

          • Bathysphere says:

            They can’t transfigure food. It says so in the seventh book. But if they already have food, they can extend it.

        • Ev says:

          No no. Learn to read. You cant make food out of thin air but you can make a piece of food into a larger piece of the same food.

      • blargh says:

        They werent poor they were just hard pressed because there were a million of them. notice the house is shit, they dont have much money, all they really had was food.

  3. Xeridanus says:

    they would do science to it and it wouldn’t work again. going by World of Darkness mythos, the wizards heads would also explode.

  4. Leo says:

    Haha. Hilarious.

  5. bharath says:

    Great comic.i love the concept

  6. GaryB says:

    Magic is already here, it’s called technology. It takes a lot of work to create a new spell, but some of those spells do cure people of horrible illnesses and do allow people to fly around the planet, make pictures move etc.

  7. stewart says:

    I believe muggles can’t use magic at all. So maybe magicians are trying to avoid any racism that might and probably would occur if the magic and muggle world came together. Haha real world harry potter.

  8. Vee says:

    wizards *are* assholes.
    That needs to be a shirt

  9. Muggle-Headed says:

    The Catholic Church burned or hung around a million “witches” in the Dark Ages. That’s why we can’t have nice things.

    • Fab says:

      And according to J.K., they LIKED it!

    • ElementalBrain says:

      I know what you are talking about. I mean, you make one deal with the devil and suddenly you are on fire.

    • Erik says:

      It was laity who started the witchburnings, the number of witches burned was more like fifty thousand and the Catholic Church was somehow spineless enough to eventually go along with it despite having previously deemed heretical and pagan the belief in witchcraft.

      I agree with the rhetorical point, though, that witches and wizards were probably pissed off enough by the whole episode to go into seclusion for a while.